Yesterday I read a really poignant article in the Guardian about the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Drawn from the observations of palliative care nurse, Bronnie Ware, the things people most regret are listed as follows:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
The article affected me more than I expected. To think these of these things when it is too late to do anything about it is so very sad. So seize the day and ask yourself if you are living a life that is true to you? Are you on a work treadmill or loving what you do? Do you suppress your own feelings to keep the peace? Is your life so busy that you have lost touch with dear friends (a big problem for me)? Do you allow yourself to be silly?
None of us know when the grim reaper will strike, so it's best to follow the old adage and live each day as though it is your last. To focus your time and attention on things and people that you love, to laugh and to cry and to share your joys and sorrows.
But how do you find out what your dreams are?
But how do you find out what your dreams are?

It's called Life Planning (not Life Coaching, note). In her own words:
What the devil is life planning? Is it life coaching?
You talk about people rediscovering their dreams and the life they want. Did you have a childhood dream? What is your dream now?
When I was little I wanted to
be a Forensic Scientist, I had a little science set and a love of detective
programs y'see. I still am a Poirot addict.
What do you think stops people from rediscovering their dreams and following them?
What the devil is life planning? Is it life coaching?
Life Planning is a process
which helps people to (re)discover what they really want from life.
I encourage my clients to think
and develop what they would do if they were unconstrained which leads to lots
of interesting findings. This involves some visualisation, hard work, but is
also lots of fun. I believe we all know what we want to from life, but
sometimes it can get hidden because the 'shoulds' that exist all around us. I
create the right environment for these desires to see the light of day.
I'm a good listener (I'm a
Counselling Psychotherapist) and am skilled at helping clients to find where
their passions really lie. We then work together to form a realistic plan to
help the client get the life they want.
I think in some ways it's an
alternative to Life Coaching, and is an approach I've developed myself. Rather
than focusing on goals – which is something which Life Coach (and can be really
helpful) often does. I work to uncover passions and dreams and then work with
my client to find ways to incorporate the things that make life great into
their life.
What made you decide a new approach was needed?
What made you decide a new approach was needed?
I think there is a gap between
traditional life coaching and counselling. Someone may not have worked out
their goals or know what they want from life, but also not be in need of
counselling. This aims to help people who have got stuck and don't know what
they want from their life.
I discovered the effectiveness
of my approach sort of accidentally, I had been playing around with some ideas
about what might be helpful for someone who wanted a change. I'm a bit of a
geek when it comes to this sort of thing, so developed my ideas, then tried it
on a friend who really benefited from it and changed some important things in
her life. I then thought about how to bring life planning into more people's
lives and so developed my own business.
You talk about people rediscovering their dreams and the life they want. Did you have a childhood dream? What is your dream now?

My dreams morph and change
often, but at the moment I really want to make my business a success. Having
the right balance in life is always important to me so what's important to me
is spending time with friends (usually involving food), having the time to
create menus and cook for people, hanging out with my lovely husband, having
time to myself, making presents, and creating pieces of art.
In terms of the slightly more
distant future my dreams are to write a book about life planning, have my own
counselling practice, have well regarded art exhibition and live in a house
with a beautiful garden and grow veg. I feel like all these dreams are
reachable, and I'm enjoying what I have right now too. At the moment my dreams
are very close to reality, and I feel very lucky but there are still challenges
which keeps me excited and motivated.
What do you think stops people from rediscovering their dreams and following them?
As people grow up they are told
about things that they should and shouldn't do, it's absolutely essential because
as a child you need to be taught what to avoid in order to stay alive. However,
we often can't tell what is essential to our life for example 'don't put your
hand in a fire' , to a preference such as 'get a job that pays well'.
In so many ways we are told
from loved ones or society what we should want that we can become distant from
our real loves. It can become difficult to access what it is we really want,
and separate other people's desires for us. I love the process of Life Planning
and seeing people get in touch with the part of them which they may have lost,
as they begin to sparkle when they discover the life they really want. In the
words of Howard Thurman “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you
come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come
alive.”
To find out more about Michelle's Life Planning approach visit Life Planning and (Re)Discover the life you want.
To find out more about Michelle's Life Planning approach visit Life Planning and (Re)Discover the life you want.
Do you have any regrets or like Edith Piaf, do you regret nothing?
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