Friday, 8 July 2011

#7Sins Blog Challenge: Wrath



WRATH is the second in my series of seven deadly sins flash fiction pieces. For a reminder of the rules take a look at my earlier explanation #7sins flash fiction challenge or pop on over the Lady Antimony's wonderful blog, Thoughts, Musings and Broken Promises.




WRATH

“Don’t get mad, get tidy,” my mother always said. “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” I watched as she scrubbed the skirting board with a ragged toothbrush; as she pinned up laminated prayer cards on the corkboard, gilded with little messages of self abnegation. I watched her sigh, stare into space with red-rimmed eyes.

Keep me my Lord from Stain of Sin.

I look down at the damp pad in my hands, dense, tangled and smeared with Brasso. The door knocker gleams. I smile. His fingers always used to smudge the brass.

But his scalp brings it up a treat.


Want to read more flashes of sin-stained fiction? Check out my other #7sins stories.

For other sinful writers, check out these marvelous bloggers all taking part in the challenge: Bryce Daniels, Halli Gomez, Rebecca Clare Smith, Braindaze, Glitterword, Rosie Lane, Heather M Gardner, David A Ludwig, Jeffrey Hollar, Surfing (also known as Faith), Zade Forrest, The Gorm, Jessica and not forgetting Lady Antimony herself.

11 comments:

David A Ludwig said...

Either I totally missed something (probably murder)or Wrath was a little less shocking than Greed. I suppose the scalp was on the door knob? That's cool, and I do like the association of cleaning and anger.

Halli Gomez said...

I love how subtle this is. Great job!!

Charity Girl said...

@David Thanks for your comments! The scalp is what she's using to clean ie she's keeping to her mum's tenets of cleaning to get anger out of her system but vengefully murdered her husband in order to use his scalp to clean. However, if I have to explain that, it isn't working too well! I liked it as a theme though - lots of women I know work out their angst through obsessive cleaning - I liked the idea of taking that to an extreme.

@Halli Thanks so much for your comments - really enjoying reading yours and everyone else's!

Lissa said...

Wowser, that was totally not leading me where I thought it would go. This was really great and unexpected.

Bryce Daniels said...

Oh, wow. What a take on wrath! So subtle and just beneath the surface, but oooh so apparent.

And so delicious. Lovely job!

(Thanks for the plug.)

Rosie Lane said...

Oh, excellent, nasty little twist. Well played.

Heather M. Gardner said...

Ouch. I'll try to stay on your good side.
See you tomorrow.
HMG

Charity Girl said...

@Heather - my husband just read it and is feeling nervous! He is now appreciative of my distinct lack of tidiness or inclination to clean. My house is messy, but at least no one is dead. LOL.

David A Ludwig said...

Ah, got it. If I'm the only one who missed that though you probably don't have a problem.

Antimony said...

Oh dear. OCD & murderous tendencies.

*wonders if the other half's scalp would clean half as well as a J-cloth*

A x

Charity Girl said...

LOL, it's a double bind isn't it? The murder itself would be so damn messy...